A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again

A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, from golf decided to leave a note, saying, “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.”

Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.

She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.

After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.

“She’s finally gone. Yeah I know, it is about time. I’m coming to see you. Put on that sexy French nightie. I love you. Can’t wait to see you. We’ll do all the naughty things you like.” He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left.

She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage and with tears in her eyes. She grabbed the note to see what he wrote.

“I can see your feet. We’re out of bread; be back in five minutes.”

LOL!!

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!

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Husband Wants Divorce

A married couple is driving on a highway at a speed of 60mph, the wife behind the wheel.

Her husband suddenly looks at her and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce.”

The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70mph.

Then he says, “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and she’s a better lover than you are.”

Again, the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases.

“I want the house,” he says, pressing his luck.

Again, the wife speeds up to 80mph.

He says, “I want the car too”, but she just drives faster and faster. By now she’s up to 90mph.

“Alright,” he says, “I want the bank accounts and all the credit cards, too.”

The slowly starts to veer toward a bridge.

This makes him a bit nervous, so he says, “You don’t want anything?”

The wife says, “No, I’ve got everything I need.”

“Oh, really,” he says, “so what have you got?”

Right before they slam into the wall at 100mph, the wife smiles and says,  “The airbag.”