Joe and Bob decided to r0b a bank, but during the process of the r0bbery, they mess it up; they do manage to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor.
They do manage to take one sack each.
After a while, they meet again, and one asks the other…
Joe: What did you find in your sack?
Bob: 100.000$!
Joe: Wow… that’s a lot of money!’ What did you do with the cash?
Bob: I bought a house. How about your sack?
Joe: It was full of bills.
Bob: And what did you do with them?
Joe: Eh, well… little by little, I’m paying them off…
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There was this burglary and the main burglar shouted to all the bank employees:
“Nobody move, money belongs to the government, life belongs to you”.
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.
This is called “Mind Changing Concept –> Changing the conventional way of thinking”.
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When the burglars got back, the younger burglar (MBA) told the older burglar (who is only primary school educated), “Bro, let’s count how much we got”, the older burglar rebutted and said, “You very stupid, so much money, how to count, tonight TV will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!”
This is called “Experience –> sometimes experience is more important than paper qualifications!”
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After the burglars left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. The supervisor says “Wait, wait wait, let’s put the 10 million pounds we embezzled into the amount the burglars robbed”.
This is called “Swim with the tide –> converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!”
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The next day, TV news reported that 50 million pounds was taken from the bank. The burglars counted and counted and counted, but they could only count 20 million pounds. The burglars were very angry and complained “We risked our lives and only took 20 million pounds, the bank manager took 30 million pounds with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated to be a thief!”
This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as gold!”
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A young banker decides to take a day off from his stressful job
and goes back to visit some of his professors at his old university.
As he enters the university, he sees a dog attacking a small child.
The banker quickly jumps on the dog and strangles it.
The next day, the local paper runs the story with the headline “Valiant student saves boy from vicious dog.”
When the banker sees the paper, he calls the editor of the paper and strongly suggests that a correction be printed, pointing out that he’s no longer a student, but a successful banker.
The next day, the paper issues a correction, with a headline saying, “Pompous banker k*lls university mascot.”
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A reporter hears of a woman in his town that has the highest welfare payments, and he was curious as to why.
So he went to her house to interview her.
He got to a little house and after she opens, introduces himself and asks her, “How old are you?” He asked.
“27.” she said.
“And how many children do you have?”
“Ten,” she replied.
“Wow, ok that explains a lot.” He said, taken a back.
“And what are their names?” he asked.
“Well there’s Bob, then there’s Bob, and Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, and of course Bob.”
“They’re ALL named Bob?” he asked, even more bewildered. “What if you want them to come in from playing outside?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” she explained, “I just call ‘Bob,’ and they all come running inside.”
“And if you want them to come to the table for dinner?”
“I just say, ‘Bob, come eat your dinner,’ and they do.” She answered.
“But what if you want just ONE of them to do something?” he asked.
“Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “I just use their last name.”
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A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, which said: “Rest in Peace.” The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied: “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this – somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying:
