An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard.
He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice.
The old fellow was crabby and exacting.
“Don’t ask me a lot of questions,” he told the boy.
“Just do whatever I tell you to do.”
One day, the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil.
“Get the hammer over there,” he said. “When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard.”
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
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An old man, a boy, and a donkey were travelling.
The boy rode the donkey while the man walked.
In the first town they went to, the people all said, “How hard for that old man who has to walk!”
The two travelers heard this and decided that the boy should walk and the old man should ride.
In the next town, people whispered, “What a shame, he makes the little boy walk!”
So the pair decided that they should both ride.
In the third town, people all muttered about how cruel it was to make the donkey work so hard.
So the boy and the old man decided to carry the donkey.
On the way to the next town, they had to go across a bridge. As they walked across it, they slipped and the donkey fell in to the river and drowned.
The moral of the story is – If you try to please everyone, you will eventually end up losing your ass.
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An old man is sitting out on his deck one day
when he sees a young boy walking down the road with a roll of duct tape under his arm.
“Where are you going?” asks the old man.
“To catch some ducks” says the kid.
“You can’t catch ducks with duct tape” replies the old man.
“Ok” says the kid and carries on his way.
2 hours later up the road comes the kid with a load of ducks wrapped up in the tape.
Next day same old man see kid with a roll of chicken wire: “Where you off to today?”
Kid: “Going to catch some chickens.”
“You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire.”
Kid: “Ok”
Sure as bears shit in the woods a few hours later here comes the kid lugging a load of chickens caught in the wire. Next day the old man sees the kid with some sort of plant.
“What you got today?”
Kid: “A bunch of pussy willows.”
“Hold on till I get my coat.”
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A 97 year old man goes in the insurance and says to the insurer:
“Hello my son. I want to have a life insurance policy.”
Perplexed by the old man, the insurer asks: “Sorry for the indiscretion, but why do you want to make life insurance?”
“You know my son I will travel with my father in Europe.”
Even more perplexed the insurer, asks: “Again, sorry, but how old is your father?”
“127. ”
“127? And what will you do in Europe?”
He answers: “We will go to the wedding of my grandfather.”
Even more shocked the insurer asks: “And how old is your grandfather?”
“He is … Oh, 150.”
And the insurer ready to hear everything now, asks: “Oh well, how come your grandfather wants to get married at this age?”
“Bullshit, you know his parents are pressing him!”
