Jasmine
Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi.
The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds, so he just switched on the engine, switched it off, and told them: “We have arrived”.
The first man gave him money.
The second one thanked the taxi driver.
The third one slapped him (the taxi driver).
The taxi driver was stunned because he hoped that none of them had realized that the car hadn’t moved an inch, but he faked surprise and asked the third man: “What was that for?”.
The drunken man replied: “Control your speed next time! You nearly k*lled us!!!”
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re like Frank.”
Passenger: “Who?”
Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”
Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”
Cabbie: Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”
Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”
Cabbie: There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew everything about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”
Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!”
Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong, and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”
Passenger: “How did you meet him?”
Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile!! Have a nice day!!