Lily
A woman was having an affair.
One rainy day she was in bed with her Lover when she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.
Woman: OMG – Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window.
Lover: It’s raining out there!
Woman: If my husband catches us, he”ll k*ll us!
The lover jumps out of the window. As he runs down the street in rain, he discovered he had run right into the middle of the town”s marathon. He started running along with the others, 300 of them.
After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. “Do you always run in the nude?” one asked”.
“Oh yes!” he replied. “It feels so wonderfully free!”
Another runner: “Do you always run carrying clothes under your arm?”
“Oh, yes” Lover answered. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and go home!”
3rd runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”
“Nope…just when it”s raining.”
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of condoms: Olympic condoms.
Impressed, he decides to buy a pack to show his wife.
After he arrives home, he proudly presents the Olympic condoms to his puzzled wife.
“Olympic condoms?” she asks him. “What makes them Olympic, exactly?”
“Well,” answers her husband, “They come in three colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze.”
“What color are you going to wear tonight?” she asks with a smile.
“Gold, of course!” proclaims her husband proudly.
“Really,” ponders the wife, “Why don’t you wear Silver?”
“Why silver?” asks the husband.