Bean
A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue.
Alarmed by the old fellow’s absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him.
He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, “How come after all these years we don’t see you at services anymore?”
The old man looked around and lowered his voice. “I’ll tell you, Rabbi,” he whispered.
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“When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that God is very busy and must’ve forgotten about me, and I don’t want to remind Him!
A British trawler is sailing off the coast of Germany
A British trawler is sailing off the coast of Germany when suddenly the ship starts taking in water.
The ship is sinking fast and the captain immediately gets on the radio to contact the German coast guard.
“Help!” he exclaims, “We’re sinking! We’re sinking!”
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A hesitant voice comes from the radio. “Um…v-vot are you sinking about?”