A man stared at a woman seated at the bar.

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

…

..

.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

Little Johnny has a problem with Arithmetic

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in Arithmetic.

“Why?” asks the father.

“The teacher asked ‘How much is 2 x 3?’ I said 6.

“But that’s right!”

“Then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’

“What’s the f…k…….ng difference?” asks the father.

…

..

.

“That’s what I said!”