Jasmine
A dog walks into a butcher shop.
The butcher asks, “What do you want?”
The dog points to the steak in a glass case.
“How many pounds?” The dog barks twice.
“Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times.
So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork chops and places the bag in the dog’s mouth.
He then takes money from a purse tied around the dog’s neck and sees him out.
A customer, who has been watching in amazement, follows the dog to a house several blocks away, where it rings the doorbell to be let in.
As the owner appears at the door, the customer says, “What a remarkable dog!”
“Remarkable?” snorts the owner.
“This is the second time this week he’s forgotten his keys.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
A Talking Dog For Sale
A man sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.”
He rings the bell and the owner tells him that the dog is in the backyard.
The guy enters the backyard and sees a black mutt sitting there.
“You talk?” he asks.
“Of course,” the dog replies.
“So what’s your story?”
The dog looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my gift of talking quite young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting with spies and world leaders in rooms because no one thought a dog was eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.
The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I was not getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. There I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
The owner says, “Ten dollars.”
The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
“Because he’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!