Bean
In Vegas, a blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.
She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course, the machine keeps popping out the drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.
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The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: “Can’t you see I’m winning??”
A bum asked a man to give him $2 for dinner
A man was walking in the city when he was accosted by a particularly bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars, and asked, “If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?”
“No, I stopped drinking years ago,” the bum said.
“Will you use it to gamble?”
“I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive.”
“Will you spend the money on golf?”
“I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
The man said, “Instead of giving you $2, I’m going to take you to my home for a dinner cooked by my wife.”
The bum was surprised. “Won’t your wife be angry with you for bringing me to your home? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.”
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The man replied, “That’s okay. I just want her to see what a man who’s given up drinking, gambling, and golf looks like.”
LoLLLL, did you laugh? did you read this joke before?