Lily
A man boarded a plane with six kids and got settled into their seats.
A woman sitting across the aisle leans over and says,
“Excuse me sir but are these your kids?”
To which he replied,
“No, I work for a company that manufactures c*nd*ms. And these are customer complaints.”
A mother and father in their 40s loved their children very much.
They had three kids, two of whom were already grown up. Their third child, the youngest, was only 10 years old. They were tucking their young boy in to bed one night when they asked him what he wanted when he grew up.
Son: Mom, I also want 5 wives. One will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.
Mom: And one will put you to sleep.
Son: No mom, I will still sleep with you.
Mom’s eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son.
Mom: But who will sleep with your 5 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with daddy.
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son!
I pulled in to the crowded car park at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my new puppy has sufficient air.
She was stretched full out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must stay there.
I walked backwards to the kerb, pointing my finger and saying emphatically “Stay! Stay!”
A blonde a nearby car, gave me a strange look and said, “Why don’t you put the handbrake on??”