A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north.
The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn while the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book.
Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, “Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading my book,” she replies.
“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.
“But, Officer, I’m not fishing. Can’t you see that?”
“But you have all this equipment, Ma’am. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”
“If you do that I will charge you with ra.pe,” snaps the irate woman.
“I didn’t even touch you,” grouses the sheriff.
“Yes, that’s true… but you have all the equipment!”
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One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
To which the boy replied, “Yes, ma’am, he did. My dad said that he didn’t have enough bait for both of us.”
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A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning.
After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked “How do fish breath under water?”
His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, “I really don’t know, son.”
The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, “How does our boat float on the water?”
Once again his dad replied, “Don’t know, son.”
Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks “Why is the sky blue?”
Again, his dad replied. “Don’t know, son.”
The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time “Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?”
“Of course not son.” replied his dad, “How else are you ever going to learn anything?”
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A man was fishing in the jungle.
After a while another angler came to join him.
“Have you had any bites?” asked the second man.
“Yes, lots,” replied the first one, “but they were all mosquitoes.”
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Four married guys went fishing. After an hour or so, the following conversation took place:
First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”
Second guy: “That’s nothing! I had to promise my wife I’d build her a new deck for the pool.”
Third guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I’ll remodel the kitchen for her.”
They continued to fish until they realized the fourth guy had not said a word.
So they asked him. “You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What’s the deal?”
Fourth guy: “I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off the clock, gave the wife a nudge and said,
“Fishing, or S*x,” and she said, “Wear a sweater.”
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A father had promised his two young sons he would take them on a fishing trip.
The boys were digging for fishing bait in their parents’ garden. Uncovering a many legged creature, one of the boys proudly dangled it before his Father.
“No, son, he won’t do for bait,” his Father said. “He’s not an earthworm.”
“He’s not?” the boy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is he from?”
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Why is FISHING better than DATING?
WELL… You can catch and release a fish, you don’t have to lie and make it promises.
Fish don’t compare you to other fishermen neither and don’t want to know how many other fish you caught.
In fishing you lie about the one that got away.
In love you lie to still be friends after you let it go.
You don’t have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.
You can catch a fish on a 20-cent nightcrawler.
If you want to catch a woman you’re talking dinner and a movie at the minimum.
