Lily
This 89 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.
When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, “What did you steal?”
She replied, “A can of peaches.”
The judge asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.
Then the judge asked her how many peaches were in the can.
She replied 6.
The judge said, “Then I will give you 6 days in jail.”
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman’s husband spoke up and asked, the judge if he could say something on his wifes behalf.
The judge said, “What is it?”
The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”
Life was good at the Smiths. It was just another day.
Suddenly, shouts were heard from inside the house. The wife was shouting at Bob, her husband.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.
She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.