Lily
Two old ladies are in a restaurant.
One complains, “You know, the food here is just terrible.”
The other shakes her head and adds, “And such small portions.”
Four women share a birthday and always celebrate it together.
For their 40th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because the waiters are cute and wear tight pants.
For their 50th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because the prices are reasonable and it has a good wine list.
For their 60th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because it’s quiet and has a nice view.
For their 70th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because it’s wheelchair accessible.
For their 80th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because they’ve never been there before.
Maria and Julia were old friends.
They had in fact they had been friends for many years and both of them have been married to their husbands for a very long time.
One day, Julia went to visit Maria and confided in her that she was upset because she thought her husband didn’t find her attractive any more.
“As I get older he doesn’t bother to look at me”, Julia cried on her best friend Maria’s shoulder.
“I’m so sorry for you”, Maria said. “As I get older, my husband says that I get more beautiful every day”.
“Of course he does”, Julia answered, “your husband is an antique dealer!”
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me. I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”