Bean
“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old.
“You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!”
“Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you can’t even cr…ap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin’ comes out!”
“Actually,” said the 80-year-old, “80 is the worst age of all!”
“Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked the 60-year-old.
“No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all.”
“Do you have trouble cr…apping?” asked the 70-year-old.
“No, I cr…ap every morning at 6:30.”
With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, “Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and cr…ap every morning at 6:30.
So what’s so tough about being 80?”
“I don’t wake up until 7:00!”
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Pilot Speaks Over The Intercom
Shortly after a British Airways flight reached cruising altitude, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain.
Welcome to Flight 293, nonstop from London Heathrow to New York. The weather is fine, so we should have an uneventful flight. So sit back, relax, and … OH … MY GOD! ”
There was silence … complete silence!
Moments later, the captain came back on the intercom.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee on my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!”
From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger shouted …
“For the luvva Jaysus… you should see the back of mine!”
LOL!!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!
Rich Woman Requests To Change Seat