Lily
Three men sat around a table in a bar and talked about their wives.
The first man says, “I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician. When I got home last night I found a pair of pliers and some insulating tape behind the radiator in the bedroom – we’ve not had any work done on the house, and I can’t think of any other way they could have got there”.
The second man says, “I think my wife is having an affair with a carpenter. Last night I found a tool belt in the laundry basket, and we’ve not had any renovations to the house in years…”
The third man says, “I’m in the same boat, but I don’t think you two have it as bad as I do… My wife is having an affair with… (stops for dramatic effect) a horse!”
The two other man both look at him with a confused look and demand an explanation. Has he gone insane?! Has she?! What the heck was he talking about?
The third man lies back and says: “It’s very simple, boys, when I got home last night, I found a jockey hidden in the wardrobe.”
A Series of Coincidences
A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne.
The woman said: “How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne.”
“What a coincidence,” said the farmer, who added, ” It is a special day for me. I am celebrating.”
“It is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!” said the woman.
“What a coincidence!” said the farmer. While they toasted, the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating?”
“My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynecologist told me that I was pregnant.”
“What a coincidence,” said the man. “I am a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilized eggs.”
“This is incredible,” said the woman. “What did you do for your chickens to become fertile?”
“I used a different rooster,” he said.