Lily
A man asked for a meal in a restaurant.
The waiter brought the food and put it on the table.
After a moment, the man called the waiter and said: “Waiter! Waiter! There’s a fly in my soup!”
“Please don’t speak so loudly, sir,” said the waiter, “or everyone will want one.”
Losing a friend
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks.
For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the Opera.
‘When you and I get out of here,’ he said to the fly, ‘we’re going to tour interesting spots and make a fortune.’
Finally the day arrived. The fly safely tucked away in his pocket, and the ex-con made his way to a restaurant to celebrate. He brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moon walking.
‘What about this fly, eh?’ he said to the waiter.
In one swift motion, the waiter reached for his copy of the newspaper, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe.
‘Glad you saw it,’ muttered the waiter. ‘Blasted things are everywhere.’
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air and crashed to the ground.
After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate, “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”