Lily
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
One says to the other: “You won’t believe this, but I’ve just run 100 metres in 10 seconds.”
The other says: “But that’s impossible, that’s the world record.”
So the other says: “Ah hah, but I took a short cut.”
Crashed Expectation
Upset Pilot (after crash): “I was trying to break a record…”
Farmer: “Well, you’ve made it. You’re the first man in these parts who climbed down a tree without having to climb up it first.”
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.
He turned on the jockey.
“Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?”
“Sure I could have, but you know we’re supposed to stay on the horse.”
Two gas company servicemen,
a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realised the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I saw two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”