Bean
A boy returns home from running an errand for his quarantined grandfather.
He says, “Grandpa, I got all the groceries you wanted! Altogether, it came to $47.22. Here’s your chance.”
Grandpa says, “My goodness, the world is expensive nowadays. When I was a boy your age, I could get five pounds of potatoes, three loaves of bread, two pounds of beef, a jug of milk, a tin of tobacco for my dad, and a handful of my favorite candies, all for about five cents.
“Can’t do that today, though. No siree Bob!”
“Why is that, grandpa?” asks the boy.
“Too many bloody cameras.”
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A Blonde Woman With Her Sports Car.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.
The officer asked to see the lady’s driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
“What does it look like?” she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”
The driver finally found a mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. “Here it is,” she said.
The officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “Okay, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop.”
Hope no one was offended by that one! It’s all in good fun!