Lily
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station
when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
“That sure is a nice fire truck,” he said with admiration.
“Thanks,” the girl replied.
The firefighter looked a little closer and discovered to his horror that the girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar and to the cat’s t*sticles.
“Little partner,” the firefighter said, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”
The little girl replied thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”
So a kid is going through his mother’s purse and takes out her driving license.
His mother catches him reading it and mildly scolds him. The kid says “but i learned so much about you from it!”
“Well, OK, what did you learn about me?”
“Well… I know your age now.”
“And what is that?”, says his mother.
“You’re old”, says the kid.
“And I learned your height.”
“Which is?”
“You’re really tall.”
“Well, yes, I am tall for a woman.”
“And I learned your weight”, he says.
“And what is that?”, asks the mother.
“A lot for a woman your height.”
The mother sighs and says “Well, that’s not nice, but I can’t argue that.”
“And,” the kid says, “I know why dad divorced you.”
“Huh? What?! How on earth did you get that from a driver’s license?”