Lily
The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said,
“Now I’ll show you this frog in my pocket.”
He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich.
He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That’s funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”
There’s a frog who has a unique kink:
He falls in love with human girls.
Of course, no human girl will touch him.
Desperate, he goes to a psychic.
The psychic tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog becomes excited, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”
“No,” says the psychic, “in her biology class.”
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes, the teacher asked,
“Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, four minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?”
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”
A bricklayer at my husbands construction job routinely complained about the contents of his lunch box.
“I’m sick and tired of getting the same old thing!” he shouted one day. “Tonight I’ll set my wife straight.”
The next day the men could hardly wait until lunch time to hear what happened.
“You bet I told her off,” the bricklayer boasted. “I said, ‘No more of the same old stuff. Be creative!’ We had one heck of a fight, but I got my point across.”
He had indeed. In front of an admiring audience, he opened his lunch box to find that his wife had packed a coconut- and a hammer.