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The Pet Fish

A man decides he wants to fish.

Unfortunately, his favorite spot became illegal to fish in.

Undeterred, he fishes for 2 hours, and at this point, he already has a bucket full of fish and he’s still fishing.

Out of nowhere a cop comes in and tells him: “You know you can’t fish here, right? It’s illegal, I’m gonna have to arrest you.”

The man hides the pole and replies: “Oh no no those are my pet fish. I just come here every week or so drop them in the pond, and once they are done swimming they jump back in and I go home.”

At this point the officer smirks, he knows he’s lying, so he says: “Well then show me, if you can truly show me that they will do that then I’ll let you go.”

The man agrees and dumps the fish into the pond.

A few minutes pass…

“So when are the fish jumping back in the bucket?” Asks the officer smugly.

“What fish?” says the man.

Did you have a good laugh?

This guy’s wife gets a cat and he hates it.

So one day, while his wife is gone to work, the guy puts the cat in the back seat of the car, drives a few blocks, and lets the cat out. When he gets home, the cat’s sitting there on the front porch.

So the next day, the guy waits until his wife leaves for work again, then throws the cat in the car, drives a mile away from the house, and tosses the cat out. When he gets home, the cat’s sitting there again on the front porch.

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Well, the guy’s furious. So he waits until the next day, then throws the cat in the car, and drives as far and fast as he can, making all the turns and doubling back he can to throw off the cat. He dumps out the cat and heads home, but realizes he can’t figure out where he is.

So that afternoon, his wife comes home and answers the ringing phone. It’s her husband. He asks, “Is the cat there?”

She says, “Yes.”

The guy says, “I’m lost. Put the cat on the phone.”

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