“A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat down and talked about life. After a while I interrupted the conversation and said to him, ′′I’m going to wash the dishes, I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me like I told him he was going to build a spaceship. So he said to me with admiration and a little stumped, ′′Glad you help your wife, I rarely help mine because when I do she never thank me. Last week I washed the floor and she didn’t even tell me thank you.”
I sat back down with him again and explained to him that I don’t ′′help′′ my wife. Actually, my wife doesn’t need help, she needs a partner, a teammate. I’m her home partner… and due to that, all functions are divided, which is not “help” with household chores.
I don’t “help” my wife clean the house, because I also live in it and I need to clean it too.
I don’t “help” my wife cook, because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I don’t “help” her washing dishes after eating, because I use these dishes too.
I don’t “help” my wife with kids, because they are mine too and it’s my duty to be a father.
I don’t “help” my wife wash, extend, fold, and put away laundry, because it’s mine and my kids too.
I don’t give a “helping hand” at home, I’m part of it.
Then with respect I asked my friend when was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, doing laundry, changing the bed sheets, bathing the kids, cooking, organizing, etc.. and did he say: “thank you?”
I mean a real thank you, like, “Wow, baby!! You’re amazing!!”
Does this all seem absurd? Does it sound weird to you? When, once in your life, you cleaned the floor, you expected at least an excellence award with great glory… why? Haven’t you ever thought about that?
Maybe, because for you, macho culture taught you that everything is a woman’s task.
Maybe you’ve been taught that all this should be done without you having to move a finger.
So praise her as you would like to be praised, likewise, with the same intensity. Hold her hand and behave like a true companion, and assume your part, don’t behave like a guest who simply comes to eat, sleep, shower and satisfy sexual needs… feel at home, in your home.
Change in our society begins in our homes, teaching our children the true sense of fellowship!”
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My Colleagues Always Made Me Split Bills Even Though I Didn’t Eat That Much, So I Found a Way to Put Them in Their Place
When I started my new job, I was eager to fit in with my colleagues. I mean, I was in a new environment, and I needed to get along with the people I was going to work with daily.
They already had their own traditions, and when they invited me to join, of course, I couldn’t say no. One of their traditions was going out for lunch every Friday, and I didn’t want to seem like the odd one out.
Except, there was a problem.
My colleagues were in a whole different tax bracket. They were well-established in the company, earning far more than I was, while I was at the beginning of my career, only making ends meet by the skin of my teeth. My entry-level salary had to sustain me while paying off loans, bills, and rent.
Things that my colleagues didn’t have to worry about.
Yet every Friday, like clockwork, we went to these over-the-top restaurants where the bills seemed to climb higher and higher each week.
And without fail, they insisted on splitting the bill evenly. I tried not to let it bother me at first. I mean, let’s face it, it was just lunch, right? But as the weeks went by, my pockets felt a lot lighter than they should have.
Here’s the thing: I’m a vegetarian. And I’ve always ordered simple food that is easy to eat and delicious. But my meals are generally salads or small entrées. Meanwhile, two of my colleagues, Josh and Lisa, ordered massive meat platters every single time.
Ribs, steaks, whatever was the most expensive meal on the menu. Their orders easily topped $60, sometimes even more. And yet, every week, we split the bill evenly. My $15 salad turned into a $35 meal, all thanks to them.
Now, they could afford these meals, so I understood why they wanted to indulge in them. The first few times, I didn’t say anything. I figured it was just part of the team culture, and I didn’t want to cause any friction as a newbie.
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