The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle.

He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”

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Five small voices answered in unison. “Okay, dad, you get the toy.”

A man was Promoted to Montreal

Boss: Congratulations! I’m promoting you to manage our Montreal office!

The young man (disappointed): But sir! There’s nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.

Boss (now insulted): I’ll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!

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The young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on?