Lily
The maid asked for a raise, and the wife was upset.
She asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?”
Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.”
Wife: “Who said that?”
Helen: “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”
Helen: “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”
Wife: “Who said that?”
Helen: “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”
Helen: “The third reason is that I am better at making love than you.”
Wife: “Did my husband say that as well?”
Helen: “No, the gardener did.”
Wife: “So, how much do you want?”
A women is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in…
Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror. “Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!”
The wife, startled at her husband’s reaction, dashes to the fridge to get some butter.
“You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!”
The wife, concerned by the status of her husband’s mental state, forgets about the butter and goes running to the eggs.
“WE NEED BUTTER! Are you CRAZY???
Where are we going to get the butter? They’re going to stick! HURRY!”
The wife runs to the fri-
“CAREFUL about the eggs! CAREFUL. You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them quickly! Oh not that quickly, don’t you know how to cook? Are you insane? Turn the DAMN EGGS!”
At this point, the wife starts crying, since she has no idea what to do.
She gasps “What is WRONG with you? I know how to cook eggs.”