Lily
Wife: “Honey let’s play a game?”
Husband: “Ok, what is the game all about?”
Wife: “If I mention a country, you will run to the left side of the room and touch the wall. And if I mention a bird you will run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you will give me all your salary for the month.”
Husband: “Ok and if you fail, I will have your salary too right?”
Wife: (smile) “Yes darling.”
Husband: “Ok” (stood up and was ready to run to any direction)
Wife: “Are u ready?”
Husband: “Yes, ready.”
Wife: “Turkey”
It has been 4 hours now the husband is still standing at the spot wondering if she meant the country or the bird.
A couple had been married for 35 years, and the pair was also celebrating their 60th birthdays.
During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would grant them each one wish.
The wife said she wanted to travel around the world. The fairy godmother waved her magic wand and boom. The wife had the tickets in her hand.
Then it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said boldly, “Well, I’d like to have a wife 30 years younger than I.”
The fairy godmother picked up her wand and boom. He was now 90.
A wife was with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door.
“Stay where you are,” she told the panicked lover. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re with me.”
Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.
He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?!?”
“Nonsense,” said the wife. “You’re so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.”
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. “One, two, three, four. Oh ok, you were right.”