Lily
A grandmother sent her grandson a shirt for his birthday.
The only trouble was that he had a size 14 neck and the shirt was size 12.
When the grandson sent a thank you note, he wrote, “Dear Grandma. Thanks a lot for the shirt. I’d write more, but I’m all choked up.”
A 5-year old girl went to visit her grandmother one day.
She played with her dolls as grandma dusted the furniture.
At one point, she looked up and asked: “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?”
Grandma replied: “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I’m so happy with my TV as my boyfriend.”
Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the back of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little girl heard the doorbell ring so she hurried to open the front door. When she opened the door, there stood Grandma’s minister.
The minister said: “Hello young lady. Is your grandma home?”
The little girl replied: “Yeah, she’s in the bedroom bangin’ her boyfriend.”
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”