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The $5000 Desk

Stanley is looking for a new desk for his office and he spots one that looks perfect in an antique shop window. He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it is.

“That desk is going for $5000,” says the shopkeeper.

“$5000 for an old desk? That’s outrageous!” exclaims Stanley.

“Ah,” says the shopkeeper, “but this is a magic desk.” He turns to the desk and asks, “Desk, how much money do I have in my pocket?”

The desk taps one of its legs on the floor four times. The shopkeeper turns out his pocket and, sure enough, there are four dollar coins there.

“Wow, that’s pretty cool,” says Stan. “Alright, desk, how much money does my wife have in her bank account?”

At this, the desk goes wild, manically banging all four of its legs up and down repeatedly for over five minutes non-stop.

“Darn, where did she get all THAT from?” wonders Stanley.

==================

Smart Husband

The husband sent a text to his wife at night,

“Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty
clothes
and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I
return.”

but there is no reply…..

He sent another text,
“And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my
salary
at the end of the month, I’m getting you a new car”
this time,
She texts back, “OMG really?”

Husband replied,

“No, I just wanted to make sure you got my first
message”

 

 

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Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.