Bean
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; It’s bad. Both cars were completely demolished, but surprisingly neither of them was injured.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There is nothing left, but luckily we are unharmed. It must be a sign from God that we must meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days..”
Flattered, the man replied, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely!”
“This must be a sign from God!” The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods opens it and drinks half of the bottle then hands it back to the woman
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…”
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The blonde is tired of all blonde jokes
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
smells the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said…
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.