Lily
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of condoms: Olympic condoms.
Impressed, he decides to buy a pack to show his wife.
After he arrives home, he proudly presents the Olympic condoms to his puzzled wife.
“Olympic condoms?” she asks him. “What makes them Olympic, exactly?”
“Well,” answers her husband, “They come in three colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze.”
“What color are you going to wear tonight?” she asks with a smile.
“Gold, of course!” proclaims her husband proudly.
“Really,” ponders the wife, “Why don’t you wear Silver?”
“Why silver?” asks the husband.
“Well, it would be nice if you came second for a change.”
Mother had 3 virgin daughters who were all getting married in quick succession.
As the mother was concerned about their first experiences, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words about what transpired.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: ‘Nescafe’
The mother was puzzled at first… she went to her kitchen and found the Nescafe jar. It said: ‘Good till the last drop’.
Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: ‘Rothmans’
The mother found her husband’s cigarettes, and she read from the pack: ‘Extra Long. King Size’
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in Auckland, New Zealand. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words ‘Air New Zealand’
Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for Air NZ.
The ad said: ‘Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways.’