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Old Lady’s Lament.

There was a man who really took care of his body.

He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles a day. One day, he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tanned all over except his ‘thing.’

So, he decided to do something about it. He went to the beach, completely undressed himself and buried in the sand, except for his ‘thing,’ which he left sticking out.

Two old ladies were strolling along the beach, one using a cane.

Upon seeing the ‘thing’ sticking up out of the sand, she began to move it around with her cane, remarking to the other lady, “There’s no justice in the world.”

The other lady asked what she meant.

“Well,” said the old lady,

“When I was 20, I was curious about it.

When I was 30, I enjoyed it.

When I was 40, I asked for it.

When I was 50, I paid for it.

When I was 60, I prayed for it.

When I was 70, I forgot about it.

Now I’m 80, the damn things are growing wild on the beach and I’m too old to squat!”

Did you have a good laugh?

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

“May we see the new baby?” one asked.

“Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?”

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A mother was teaching her child about the side-effects of whiskey

“No, not yet,” said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, “May we see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the baby?”

“WHEN HE CRIES!” she told them.

“Why do we have to wait until he CRIES?”

“BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM. O.K.?”

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