Lily
After directory assistance gave Sophia,
her boyfriend’s new telephone number, she dialed him and got a woman.
“Is Jimmy there?” Sophia asked.
“He’s in the shower,” she responded.
“Please tell him his girlfriend called,” Sophia said and hung up.
When he didn’t return the call, Sophia dialed again. This time a man answered.
“This is Jimmy,” he said. “You’re not my boyfriend!” Sophia exclaimed.
“I know,” he replied. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour.”
“Hello. Hi Honey. This is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?”
“No daddy. She is upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Paul.”
After a short pause, daddy says: “but honey, you don’t have an uncle Paul.”
“Oh yes, mommy says I do and he is upstairs with mommy in the bedroom right now.”
After a short time daddy says: “Okay, then this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and scream that daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”
“Okay daddy, just a minute.”
A few minutes later the little girl comes back on the phone.
“I did it daddy.”
“And what happened honey?” daddy asked.
“Well, mommy got all scared, jumped out of the bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. The she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all.”
“Oh my God!!!! And what happened to your uncle Paul?”
“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week and cleaned it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he is d*ad.”
*Long pause …*
The daddy says,
“Swimming pool? …. Is this 486-5731?”