Watching the parent who raised you and guided you through life grow old and lose their independence is one of the hardest realities we face. Life has a way of reversing roles—once we were the children needing constant care, and now it’s our parents who become fragile and in need of support.
In many cultures, the idea of placing a parent in assisted living still carries stigma. Marissa, a devoted wife and mother of two, reached out for advice about her own situation: her mother-in-law is becoming increasingly frail, and her husband insists she move in with them.
Here’s her story:
From: Marissa
Subject: My husband wants his mother to move in with us
My mother-in-law is elderly and weak, and she lives alone.
Over the last few months, her health has worsened, and doctors recently diagnosed her with dementia.
My husband is an only child.
He asked his mother to move in with us so we can take care of her, or possibly hire a caregiver. The problem is, both of us work full-time, and we already have two kids who demand most of our time and attention.
I honestly don’t think we’d be able to give his mother the care she truly needs. We’re not trained for it, and I believe professional help would be far more beneficial for her. I suggested moving her into a senior care facility where she could receive proper attention.
But my husband refuses to even consider it. He made a promise to his late father that he would never place his mother in a nursing home.
This issue is starting to put a serious strain on our marriage. Please help me find a solution that works for both of us.
Thanks,
Marissa
