An old man in Scotland calls his son in London and says, “I hate ruining your day, but I have to tell you that your mom and I are getting a divorce.
45 years of misery is enough. ”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” The son is screaming.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man says.
“We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her,” and he hangs up.
The son furiously calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, “Like heck, they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”
She immediately calls her dad and yells at the old man, “You are NOT getting the divorce! Do nothing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back and we will both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.”
A Man Went To Visit His Grandfather
A young man went to his grandfather’s house to stay for the weekend.
He was sitting down for lunch when he noticed that the spoons and forks were covered with a thin filmy substance.
He asked his grandfather: “Are you sure you washed it properly?”
“As clean as cold water can get it.” was the reply.
Then the young man shrugged his shoulders and began to eat.
The next day at breakfast he noticed that the plates were dirty and grimy.
It also smelled a bit like a dog.
“Are you sure you washed it well?” He asked.
“As clean as cold water can get it.” was the reply again.
The man, who was a little suspicious of his health, looked at his grandfather then at his plate and began to eat.
As he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog jumped in front of him, growled, and generally blocked him from going forward.
“Coldwater, leave the poor boy alone!” shouted the old man from inside.
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!