Jasmine
A man passionately hates his wife’s cat and decides to get rid of it once and for all.
He drives twenty blocks away from his house and drops the cat there.
The cat is already walking up the driveway when the man approaches his house.
The next day, he decides to drop the cat forty blocks away, but the same thing happens.
He keeps on increasing the number of blocks, but the cat keeps on coming home before him.
Eventually, he decides to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again, and right again, and so on, until he reaches what he thinks a perfect spot and drops the cat there.
A few hours later, the man calls his wife at home and asks her, “Jen, is the cat there?”
“Yes, so why are you asking?” the wife answers.
Frustrated, the man says, “Put that cat on the phone. I’m lost and I need directions!”
LOL!!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!
Four Cats
Four men boast about the intelligence of their cats. The first was an engineer, the second was an accountant, the third was a chemist, and the fourth was a government employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, “T-square, do your stuff.” T-Square walked over to the desk, pulled out a pen and paper, and quickly drew a circle, square, and triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet entered the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure stood up, went to the refrigerator, took out a quart of milk, got a 10-ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the government employee and said, “What can your cat do? The government employee called his cat and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.”
Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, pooped on the paper, pounced the other three cats, claiming he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation, and….went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
And that’s why everyone wants to work for the government!!!