Little Johnny Buys a Horse

Little Johnny Buys a Horse

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”

His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Johnny, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.”

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A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door

Typical Day at the Farm

A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.

“Is your dad or mom home?” said the farmer.

“No, they went to town.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No, he went with Mom and Dad.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, “I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message.”

“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant!”.

The boy thought for a moment, then said, “You’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $50 for the bulls and $15 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”