Let’s Play Schools.

Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon.

For a long time, they could not decide upon any game.

Suddenly, Jenny had an idea.

She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. “Let’s play schools”.

“OK!” said Jinny. “But I’m going to be absent.”

Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school.

His mother asks, “What did you learn in school today?”

Little Johnny replies, “Not much. They want me back tomorrow.”

My daughter hates school.

One weekend, she cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday.

Sunday morning on the way home from brunch, the crying and whining built to a crescendo.

At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, “Honey, it’s a law. If you don’t go to school, they’ll put daddy in jail.”

She looked at me, thought for a moment, then asked, “How long would you have to stay?”

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home.

It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.

Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts.

“I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!”

“That’s okay, dearie,” the aunt replied. “After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway.”