Lily
Sunday School Teacher:
“Now Little Johnny, I want you to memorize today’s motto, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Little Johnny: “Yes mam, but I know it already. My father says he has always used that as his motto in his business.”
Teacher: “Oh, how noble of him! And what is his business?”
Little Johnny: “He’s a boxer.”
So one day, Grandma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the waterhole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen.
“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that water hole, Grandma” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some fruit trees.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn’t been there in a while.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”
The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond.”
Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”