Lily
Marriage makes man courageous
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
‘I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want any vaccine because I’m in a big hurry,’ the woman said. ‘Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.’
The dentist was quite impressed. ‘You’re certainly a courageous woman,’ he said. ‘Which tooth is it?’
The woman turned to her husband and said, ‘Show him your tooth, dear!’
A man was in a bar with his buddies, recounting the events of the previous week.
It was payday the previous Friday, so he had decided to stay out with his friends for a spot of drinking.
An evening out turned into a whole weekend of partying, and he only returned home on Sunday night, to bear his wife’s inevitable wrath.
“My wife wasn’t too pleased that I didn’t show up for a whole weekend,” he said.
“What did she say to you?” asked his buddies.
“Well, she just nagged for what seemed like an eternity, then at one point, she asked me how I’d like it if I didn’t see her for two or three days,” he replied.
“And what did you say?” they asked.
“I told her it would be fine by me!”
“So did she leave?”
“Well no, she didn’t leave, but the joke’s on her. On the third day, my left eye opened up a little bit.”
Two friends chatting in the bar.
“Man, me and my wife had a fight yesterday.”
“Oh yea, about what?”
“You see, I wanted to watch the game but she wanted to watch a movie.”
“So, how was the movie then?”
A wife was sick in bed with the flu.
Being a dutiful husband, he offered to fix her some of her favorite herbal tea. He couldn’t find the tea though and went back upstairs to ask where it was.
She said, “I don’t know how it could be any easier to see. It’s in the pantry, third shelf down, in a cocoa tin marked ‘matches’. Can’t see how you missed it?”.