Bean
My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions.
One guy asked, “If our chute doesn’t open, and the reserve doesn’t open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?”
Our jump master looked at him and in perfect de…adpan and answered, “The rest of your life.”
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A blonde and a redhead have a ranch
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch.
They have just lost their bull.
The women have to buy another one but only have $500.
The redhead said to the blonde, “I’ll go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.”
She goes to the market and finds one for $499.
With only a dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds that it costs a dollar per word.
She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and the trailer.
Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.”
The operator asks skeptically, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?”
The redhead replies, “She is blonde and so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.'”