Harriet and Stanley were in their late 80s and had just moved into a new home that their tech-savvy grandson convinced them to make “smart.”
“Everything’s voice-activated now,” the grandson said proudly, clapping his hands. “Lights, thermostat, TV, even the fridge tells you when you’re out of milk!”
Harriet squinted suspiciously. “Does it tell you when the milk has turned? Because your grandfather has been drinking expired milk since 1972 and says it ‘builds character.’”
Stanley shrugged. “Hasn’t k1ll3d me yet. Probably the reason I’m still kicking.”
So one evening, Harriet tried using the voice commands.
She stood in the middle of the living room and said loudly, “Turn on the lights!”
Nothing.
She tried again. “TURN ON THE LIGHTS!”
Still nothing.
Sitting in his recliner, Stanley said, “You have to say ‘Hey Smart Home’ first, remember?”
So Harriet raised her voice, “HEY SMART HOME, TURN ON THE LIGHTS!”
The microwave beeped. The lights stayed off. And the thermostat dropped to 60 degrees.
Stanley grumbled, “Well, now it thinks we’re going into hibernation.”
The next day, Harriet tried to play music. “Hey Smart Home, play some Frank Sinatra.”
The speakers crackled… then started blasting gangster rap at full volume.
Stanley screamed over the noise, “Well, this ain’t flyin’ me to the moon!”
It took them 45 minutes and a call to their grandson to turn it off.
Later that night, the fridge started talking.
“You are out of eggs,” a creepy robot voice said.
Stanley shouted back, “Then go get some!”
The fridge paused and said, “I didn’t catch that.”
Harriet looked at Stanley. “We’ve been married 60 years. I thought I’d get to boss you around in retirement. Now I’ve got a refrigerator with an attitude.”
The next morning, they unplugged everything.
Stanley handed Harriet her old flip phone. “Let’s just go back to yelling at each other the old-fashioned way.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!
The Old Couple and the Hearing Aid
An old couple, George and Martha, are sitting on their front porch rocking in their chairs, watching the sun go down like they have every evening for the past 40 years.
George turns to Martha and says, “You know, Martha, I’m proud of us. All these years, through thick and thin, we’ve stuck together.”
Martha smiles sweetly and replies, “What was that, dear?”
George raises his voice, “I said—I’m proud of us!”
Martha squints. “You’re… proud of the bus?”
“No! US! YOU AND ME!”
“Oh!” she says. “Well, that’s nice. I’m proud of the bus too, though. It’s always on time.”
George sighs, shakes his head, and mutters, “I told you to get those hearing aids checked.”
Martha waves a hand, “Nonsense. I hear just fine.”
The next day, they go to the doctor’s office to finally get Martha’s hearing tested. After some time, the doctor comes out and says, “Well, good news—Martha’s hearing can be helped with a new state-of-the-art hearing aid. But it’ll cost about $3,000.”
George nearly falls out of his chair. “Three thousand dollars?! Does it come with surround sound and a Spotify subscription?”
But Martha gets the hearing aid, and after a week, the doctor calls George for a follow-up.
“So, how’s Martha doing with her new hearing aid?”
George says, “Fantastic. I’ve tested her a few times. I stand behind her and ask a question quietly to see how far she can hear.”
“Really?” the doctor says. “That’s a good method. How far back did you go?”
“Well,” George says, “last night I stood about 20 feet behind her while she was cooking and said, ‘What’s for dinner?’ No answer. So I got closer—15 feet. Still nothing. Ten feet—still no reply. Finally, I was right behind her and said, ‘What’s for dinner?’”
The doctor asks, “And what did she say?”
George sighs, “She turned around and yelled, ‘For the FOURTH time, GEORGE—it’s CHICKEN!’”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
