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Hand Fan Operating Instructions.

It was very hot, and this guy runs to a nearby store to buy a hand fan.

There were two similar fans in make and model but one was 25 cents and the other was 50 cents. The guy opted for the cheaper one thinking that they work the same way. Before he left the store, the owner tried to impress on the buyer on how each works, but the buyer was not interested – a fan is a fan is a fan, and he knows how to work it.

The 25 cent fan broke. He came back yelling and screaming that the fan was no good.

The owner explained that he should have got the operating instructions:

“With the 50 cent fan, you move your wrist left and right to get the air flowing. With the 25 cent fan which works differently, you hold the fan steady in your wrist and move your head left to right to get the air flowing.”

An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds.

He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favourite bakery.

One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffee cake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.

“This is a very special coffee cake,” he explained.

“I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning, and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, ‘Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffee cakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.’

“And sure enough,” he continued, “the eighth time around the block, there it was!”

One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food,

she went to pay for it and the cashier said you can’t buy that dog food we need evidence that you have a dog, so she bought in her dog and she got the dog food.

The next day the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said you can’t have that cat food we need evidence that you have a cat, so she went home and got her cat and she got the cat food.

Next day the same old lady went in again and she had a box, she told the cashier to put her finger in it, so she did.

She said it felt warm and soft, the little old lady then said now you’re satisfied can I have some toilet paper please!

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