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In Desperate Need of Whiskey

A man walks into a bar and briskly orders 12 of the most expensive whiskey shots.

The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up. The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, “again.”

The bartender looks a little surprised, but lines of 12 more shots. The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.”

The bartender, visibly concerned, fills up 12 more shots and lines them on the bar. The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.”

The bartender says “hold up man! You gotta slow down!” The man says “trust me, if you had what I had, you’d be drinking this fast too.”

“My God,” says the bartender, quietly leaning over the bar he asks, “what do you HAVE?” “A dollar.”

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Revenge of the Blonde

A blonde woman was sick and tired of all the unfair jokes about blondes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes.

I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all of the state capitals.”

One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Texas?”

“T!” she answered.

 

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