Lily
So a kid is going through his mother’s purse and takes out her driving license.
His mother catches him reading it and mildly scolds him. The kid says “but i learned so much about you from it!”
“Well, OK, what did you learn about me?”
“Well… I know your age now.”
“And what is that?”, says his mother.
“You’re old”, says the kid.
“And I learned your height.”
“Which is?”
“You’re really tall.”
“Well, yes, I am tall for a woman.”
“And I learned your weight”, he says.
“And what is that?”, asks the mother.
“A lot for a woman your height.”
The mother sighs and says “Well, that’s not nice, but I can’t argue that.”
“And,” the kid says, “I know why dad divorced you.”
“Huh? What?! How on earth did you get that from a driver’s license?”
“Because you got an F in s*x!”
A couple wants to make love but their son is in the house.
The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon “quickie ” with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities…
“There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he shouted. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
“An ambulance just drove by!”
“Looks like the Andersons have company,” he called out.
“Matt’s riding a new bike!”
“Looks like the Sanders are moving!”
“Jason is on his skate board!”
After a few moments he announced… “The Coopers are having s*x.” Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed.
Dad cautiously called out…”How do you know they’re having s*x?”
“Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.”