Lily
Wife:
“Whenever I keep money in my purse, our son steals it! I don’t know what to do?”
Husband: “Hide it in his books. I know he will never touch them.”
Two men were hotly discussing the merits of a book.
Finally, one of them – himself an author – said to the other, “You can’t appreciate it because you never wrote a book yourself.”
“No,” the other man retorted, “and I never laid an egg, but I’m still a better judge of an omelet than any hen.”
A letter from a teacher to a parent:
“Dear Parent, Edward doesn’t smell nice in class. Please try to bath him.”
Parent’s answer: “Dear Teacher, Edward is not a rose, don’t smell him, teach him.”
Mother to Son: Who is Sultan Aziz?
Son: Don’t know.
Mother: Devote some time to pay attention to study also.
Son to Mother: Do you know Aunty Jennifer?
Mother: Don’t know
Son: Sometimes pay attention to Daddy also.
Wife: I hate that beggar.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Rascal, yesterday I gave him food. Today he gave me a book on”How to Cook” !!!
Husband came home drunk.
To avoid wife’s scolding, he took a laptop & started working.
Wife: Did you drink?
Husband: No!
Wife: Idiot!!! Then why are you typing on a suitcase?