Lily
A billionaire decides to throw a massive party on his 50th birthday.
During the party, he grabs the mic and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion there is a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it.
“I will give anything to the person who swims across that pool,” he says.
So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests run to the pool to see what has happened. A man is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping. This guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him. He reaches the end and gets out of the pool, wet and soaked!
The millionaire grabs the mic and says, “I am a man of my word. Anything of mine — my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything — for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So, sir, what will it be?”
The guy grabs the mic and says, “Why don’t we start with the name of the idiot who pushed me in!”
Sam had been in the computer business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress.
He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Minnesota as far from humanity as possible.
Sam saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, he was just finishing dinner when someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a big, bearded man standing there.
“Name’s Leon… Your neighbor from four miles away… Having a party Saturday… thought you’d like to come.”
“Great,” says Sam. “After six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”
As Leon was leaving he stopped, “Gotta warn you there’s gonna be some drinkin’.”
“Not a problem… after 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of ’em.”
Again, as he started to leave Leon stopped. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”
Sam says, “Well, I get along with people. I’ll be there. Thanks again.”
Once again Leon turned from the door. “I’ve seen some wild s * x at these parties, too.”
“Now that’s not a problem,” says Sam, “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there…by the way, what should I wear?”
Leon stopped in the door again and said, “Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us.”