Best Dad Jokes Ever


Son: “Dad, why has some of your hair turned white?”

Father: “Every lie you tell turns one of my hair white.”

Son: “Oh, now I understand why all grandfathers’ hairs are white.”


Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!”

The policeman said, “What’s he like?”

Little Johnny replied, “Beer and women!”


Little Johnny asked his father, “Daddy, can you write in the dark?”

Her father said, “I think so. What do you want me to write?”

Little Johnny replied, “Oh, just sign this report card for me…”


Little Johnny comes downstairs crying.

His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?”

“Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer,” little Johnny said through tears.

“That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother.

“I know you’re upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry over something like that. Why didn’t you laugh?”

“I did!” Johnny sobbed.


There was a father who called his 5 small children together.

When they sat together in a circle on the floor, the father put a toy in the center.

He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them.

He asked them, “Who is the most obedient?”

Five sets of eyes looked up at him.

When he felt they didn’t understand the word he then asked, “Okay, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?”

One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father. “You win!” exclaimed the child.


Little Johnny was crying one day and his father asked him why.

‘I’ve lost five cents,’ sobbed Johnny.

“Don’t worry,” his father said kindly.

Here’s five more for you,’ At this Johnny howled louder than ever.

‘Now what is it ?’ asked his dad.

‘I wish I’d said I’d lost ten cents!’


A little boy went to his father and asked,

“Daddy, where did all of my intelligence come from?”

The father answered, “Well my son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.”

Hope this funny story will make you smile! Have a nice day!!

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