Lily
Two men are in a lunatic asylum and one night, they decide they don’t like living in an asylum any more.
They decide they’re going to escape! They get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight to freedom.
The first man jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn’t dare make the leap, afraid of falling. So then, the first man has an idea…
He says, ‘Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I’ll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!’
The second man immediately spots the problem with this and shakes his head.
“What do you think I am? Crazy? You’d turn it off when I was half way across!”
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the abbot (the head monk).
The abbot said, “You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years.” The man agreed.
After the first three years, the abbot came to him and said, “What are your two words?”
“Food cold!” the man replied. The abbot made sure the meals are not cold.
Three more years went by and the abbot came to him and said, “What are your two words?”
“Robe dirty!” the man exclaimed. The abbot ordered his robe be washed.
Three more years went by and the abbot came to him and said, “What are your two words?” –
“Bed hard!”. The abbot made sure the mattress got re-stuffed.
Three more years went by and the abbot came to him and said, “What are your two words?” –
“I quit!” said the man.
“Well,” the abbot replied,