A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
“Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?” a jogger asks. The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, “Nope.”
As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins to snarl and growl, and then attacks the jogger’s legs. As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, “I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!”
The old man mutters, “Ain’t my dog!”
A young man introduces his fiancee to his parents.
While they were having dinner the girl gently farts. Annoyed by the funny smell the father in law yells:
The girl is relieved that the future in-law blamed the dog from under her chair but after a few minutes she lets one more rip.
The boy’s father is getting nervous:
– Rocky!! be careful now!!
Worried no more the girl fires another one.
Feeling exasperated, the boy’s father yells:
– Rocky! Get out of there fast! She’s gonna sh*t on you!
One morning, Harry wakes up and goes downstairs into the kitchen. It’s his birthday.
It’s the third day of the third month and Harry is thirty three years old.
He notices that the kitchen clock has broken and stopped at 3:3oam.
On the radio, the weather announces that the temperature is 33 degrees.
Opening the sporting section of his newspaper, he turns to page three; he sees that a horse called ‘Triple Treble’ is running in the 3.3o.
He rings up a bookmaker and puts 333 on it to win.
It comes in third.