Lily
Two bowling teams, one all blondes, one all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend tournament in Atlantic City.
The brunette team rides on the bottom level of the bus, and the blonde team rides on the top level.
The brunette team, down below is having a great time until one of them realizes she doesn’t hear anything from the blondes upstairs, and she decides to investigate.
When the brunette reaches the top, she finds the Blondes team staring straight ahead at the road, frozen in fear, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
“What is going on up here?” asked the brunette. “We’re having a great time downstairs!”
“Yeah”, screams a terrified blonde, “But you’ve got a driver!”
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along his route.
No problems for the first few stops — a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Naturally, he didn’t argue with Big John, but he wasn’t happy about it.
The next day, the same thing happened — Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally, he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong — what’s more, he felt really good about himself.
So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, “Oh yeah? And why not?”
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, “Big John has a bus pass.”
So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia.
Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: “You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They’ll rob you blind. Don’t you go paying them what they ask. You haggle.”
At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, “That’ll be twenty dollars, lads.”
“Oh no, you don’t! My dad warned me about you. You’ll only be getting fifteen dollars from me,” says one of the men.
“And you’ll only be getting fifteen from me too,” adds the other.