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A squirrel is living in a pine tree. One day it starts to shake and rock.

A squirrel is living in a pine tree. One day it starts to shake and rock so he looks outside and he sees a large elephant trying to climb up the tree.

“What the hell!” the squirrel exclaims. “What the hell do you think you’re doing climbing up this tree?!”

The elephant responds. “I’m climbing up here to eat pears.”

The squirrel is befuddled. “You moron! This is a pine tree! There are no pears!”

..

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The elephant stares at him for a moment before replying, “I know. I brought my own.”

The guy goes into a pub.

The guy goes into a pub.

He orders 7 pints of beer. He drinks the first pint, the third pint, the 5th, and the 7th pint, and gets up to leave.

The barman says, “Why are you not drinking the other three pints?”

He says, “Doctors orders.”

“What do you mean by that?” asks the barman.”

..

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“I am on medication and my doctor said to me the odd pint is okay.”

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